Depleted Uranium
How long, O Lord, will I call for help, and You will not hear? I cry out to You, “Violence!” yet You do not save. Why do You make me see iniquity, and cause me to look on wickedness? Habakkuk 1:2-3a NASB
You make me see – James Bond. Yup, that’s right. James Bond introduced the general public to depleted uranium shells in one of his movies. Actually, the science is rather intriguing,[1] if you care about these sorts of things. I’m pretty sure (almost certain—ha!) that Habakkuk was not thinking about tank-busting when he cried out in despair, but depleted uranium might be an appropriate modern-day paraphrase. Just like the shell that strikes the tank, witnessing the extent and depth of evil in this world is more than enough to vaporize our resolve and destroy our hopes.
I’m feeling depleted these days. Too much to do. Too many places to get to. And all the while, evil staring me in the face. When one scene after another confronts me, I am vaporized. Oh, I know God is there—somewhere. But it sure feels like I’m wandering the earth alone. Yes, I know you’re with me, but that just makes both of us alone together. And depleted. Habakkuk was right. “Where are you, God?” “Why do you make me see all this wickedness—in me and in the world?” I just want to pull the covers over my head and sleep—pretend things will be better in the morning.
That makes me turn in other directions. The first is to God in the stillness of morning, when the light just starts to overcome that long dark night. I catch a glimpse of Him painting colors on the air. Like this:
Then I notice that we appreciate what God does in miniature as well. Like this:
Color makes me joyful in a world where black often overcomes white.
Finally, I think of sanctuary. Yes, I know there’s plenty of synchronism in these places, but I’m looking past all that Roman culture. I want to be in a place where I feel calm and safe. If I get there early, when there are no people disturbing the silence, and I just notice that men are also capable of creating great beauty, then maybe a sanctuary is really a sanctuary from the world, as it should be. As I need it to be this day when I hear myself crying, “How long?”
Topical Index: sanctuary, Habakkuk 1:2-3a, evil
[1] https://www.theguardian.com/world/2000/may/18/armstrade.kosovo
How long are we going to “see iniquity”? Perhaps until we see it with His eyes. Then we will exclaim with the Revelator “even so come, Lord Jesus”.
Then we will have quit being mesmerized by the snake or caught up in distractions or lulled to sleep by the illusion that things are really not so bad.
Until then, perhaps we are still not really “seeing iniquity”. We have to want Him to come as badly as He wants to, for that is His cue. I am afraid it is still not bad enough yet, or we would would have already seen with His eyes and reacted with our part – as He has already reacted with His – and He would have already come.
I am afraid that the real problem, unfortunately, is more that we still don’t see. Perhaps we won’t even be able to completely see until it gets completely bad.
Good question.
My mother is 86 years old and as of two years ago, lives in a Skilled Care facility near Chicago, where there are dementia and Alzheimer patients all on her floor although her mind is sharp as a tack. She is a strong believer in Yeshua. Back in March 2016, she lost her right leg just above the knee and nowadays has to have her diaper changed every 3 hours. I was hoping that after father passed away in 2012, my sisters and I would be able to take mom on some family trips around the world and a few cruises but twas not to be, given her health condition which quickly declined after taking care of dad for 7 years when he had cancer.
Outside of my Sabbaths, one of my “sanctuaries” in this dark world is flying from Seattle to see her once a month and sleeping in the recliner next to her at night, where we pray together. That’s when I can hear and experience her praises and thoughts waft up to God. During the day, I see how her countenance lights up every nurse and CNA that walks in the room (in a profession where one doesn’t get much appreciation or thanks). Many even come during their break time to receive a good Word, some sage advice or just a smile from mom. Many say, “the spirit in this room is different.”
Mom came into this world as one of eight children, 12 years after her next oldest sibling. It was during the Chinese-Japanese war so she didn’t have much of a childhood running from city to city. Yet her mother, a devout Christian always taught her to be grateful for everything (I Thess.5:18). Everything. So even when mom lost her right leg this past year and experienced a large 2nd degree burn from some scalding water on her left hip area 3 months later, due to the irresponsibility of a resident CNA, she said, “If I have but this issue in my life, given what the rest of the world is going through, I am most blessed.” Mom doesn’t just say it. You can tell in her whole demeanor that she means it because she has seen and experienced the hell of war and watches the international news each day.
In closing, earlier this year, I took mom across the street to Chicos (a nice women’s clothing store) just for a mother-daughter outing. The lady manager (Jewish) said, “Is that your mother in the wheelchair?” I said, “Yes.” She said, “There is something very different about her compared to all the other ladies that have entered the store this morning. I can’t put my finger on it. It’s a calm serenity if you will. A strong sense of self-identity. There’s a very aristocratic way about her. She’s just beautiful.” I smiled and without skipping a heartbeat said, “That’s my mom. She’s the daughter of the King.”
Every day my mother is on the “walls of Jerusalem” praying for Israel, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, the IDF soldiers, Jews, Palestinians and more. When I went to Israel this past April, she didn’t worry but just said, “Say hi to Bibi for me and be safe.”
Many scriptures epitomize my mom but especially Psalm 131…
O LORD, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty;
Nor do I involve myself in great matters,
Or in things too difficult for me.
Surely I have composed and quieted my soul;
Like a weaned child rests against his mother,
My soul is like a weaned child within me.
O Israel, hope in the LORD from this time forth and forever.
I think the key word in this scripture is RESTS. She truly knows how to abide in Adonai. She’s pretty immobile these days but Adonai has been able to build an amazing tabernacle in her soul and taken her to places her two legs would have never brought her.
Our lives are in HaShem’s loving hands (Psalm 31:15) but when it is time for mom to cross to the other side, I know people will say, “Margaret is in a better place now” and my reply will be, “No. She’s always been in that place.”
Christina what you have penned has set my heart clearly in what have seen my father doing. Where my mom and dad are living there is a pool indoors shaded from the Heat and a sauna 100 plus degrees. We will see why these details are here later but right now has we visit my parents I can see him asking each child down to the great grand child for Generations our present individually speaks a few words and listens to them respond or holes them on his lap too young to speak just coo, I am amazed when I read your words I am able to see our father in Heaven reaching down and giving comfort to each one of us one by one he knows us all and cares for us individually the pool would be similar to gathering in the Holy Spirit and enjoying ourselves with no distractions the sauna would would be that of individual comforting of the deep aches and pains in our lives with no one else around we share with him what really hurts what really bothers us what is throwing us off track and he Comforts in soothes those aches and pains the steam from the sauna shows that no one else needs to know what is going on in what we share this brings a tear to my eye my dad at 93 is getting ready say his final shalom thank you again Christina
Apologies an additional closing two bring it into Focus today’s word, may we all see that the availability is there always to harmonize and rejoice with all the saints and we can allow separate comforting for each one and for ourselves Hallelujah thank you
I hesitantly just watched “The Shack”. I had in curiosity red the book. Cultural Christianity is anemic at best, radioactive poison at it’s worst. Yet a few points presented in the movie are appropriate to this discussion. God is good. We are not to be the judge of his determined way’s or purposes in our lives or others and He is always about the process of mitigating and transforming the evil that regrettably comes with his Glory. Evil is, it is not Yahweh’s will or desire but he has overcome it with himself.
“TURN YOUR EYES ON YESHUA…..LOOK FULL IN HIS WONDERFUL FACE…..”
“Streams of water run down from my eyes, because they do not observe Your Torah.” [Psa 119:136]
“Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.” [Psa 119:37]
“My eyes are always looking to Adonai, for He will pull my feet out of the net.” [Psa 25:15]
“I will lift up my eyes to the mountains—from where does my help come? [Psa 121:1]
“To you I lift up my eyes, O you who are enthroned in the heavens! [Psa_123:1]
“You show me the path of life; In Your presence is joy to satisfaction; At Your right hand are pleasures forever.” [Psa 16:11]
SELAH
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“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what is the richness of His glorious inheritance in the kedoshim, and what is His exceedingly great power toward us who keep trusting Him—in keeping with the working of His mighty strength. This power He exercised in Messiah when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in heaven. He is far above any ruler, authority, power, leader, and every name that is named—not only in the olam ha-zeh but also in the olam ha-ba. God placed all things under Messiah’s feet and appointed Him as head over all things for His community—which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all. [Eph1:18-23]
I’m right there with you. I get it. Your pictures are perfect too.