The Letter kaf

Behold, I am with you  Genesis 28:15a NASB

I hinneh ʾānōkî  (“Behold, I”) says YHVH to Jacob in the famous dream of Genesis 28.  Here the text uses ʾānōkî rather than the shorter form, ʾānî. But since ʾānōkî and ʾānî are both translated “I,” we would have a hard time distinguishing the two. Sometimes they are used interchangeably.  But sometimes they aren’t, and when they are not, something important is usually happening. Mei Ha-Shilo’ach explains the difference.  ʾānōkî contains the added letter kaf  “which, as a prefix, denotes approximation—‘like,’ ‘as if.’ God here reveals himself as only incompletely, provisionally knowable.  If Jacob is to develop a larger capacity for comprehending God, he will need to unfold the latent dimensions of his own ʾānōkî.”[1]

There are verses where Jacob refers to himself with the longer version, ʾānōkî .   It is significant that these occurrences are also about partial concealment (note particularly Genesis 27:19 in the deception of Isaac).  ʾānōkî becomes an important word in Jacob’s quest for himself.  And God responds to Jacob with the same self-concealment.  Jacob sees what he wants to see, until circumstances (divinely ordered?) interrupt his control and force him to look into the dark places where he has hidden himself from himself.

You and I are also on the quest of ʾānōkî .  We know ourselves only in part because we have disguised ourselves from whom we completely are. Notice I did not say, “From whom we really are,” because we really are all of this concealment and revelation. It is not as if our true selves reside somewhere else, in that perfect world where we stand fully in the light. No, we are ʾānōkî , the hidden and the revealed, and it is along that continuum that we trace the steps toward complete human being.  There is a very good reason why the tears of sorrow are wiped away in heaven but the memories of our travels are not.   Now we manage the flow along this course of action.  One day we will look back and see how it brought us to completion.

We often decry the loss of vulnerability in this world.  We excoriate hypocrisy.  But the lesson of ʾānōkî is this: we are all on the path of concealment and disclosure. Yes, we might recognize the log in the eye of another.  We might hate, as Jacob hated, the one who forces us to admit our deceptions. But there are splinters everywhere, especially in those so well-practiced at ʾānōkî.  We can be encouraged.  God Himself uses ʾānōkî when He addresses Jacob.  He matches where we are on the continuum of becoming human.  He is the God who is near, both physically and psychologically. But, of course, He also prods. It is divine engineering that brings Leah into Jacob’s bed, and in the process forces Jacob to deal with his trajectory of deception.  The God who reveals is also the God who conceals, and we are required to open our own hand to His presence (the Paleo-Hebrew meaning of kaf) if we are to move along this continuum.  ʾānōkî is the designation of already-not-yet.

Topical Index:  ʾānōkî, Jacob, kaf, Genesis 28:15

[1]Avivah Gottlieb Zornberg, The Murmuring Deep, p. 289.

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pam wingo

You just have gotten together as a family,and much healing and restoration has happened in what was a dysfunctional family. God through Yeshua and his beautiful grace and mercy has bound the broken hearted and healed the trauma in your family. We are all aware of our painful past but love has overcome our multitude of sins . Just being together is a joy. Unfortunately you have an unbelieving aunt who refuses to let anything go she constantly needs to remind everyone of their painful past,slicing at painful wounds. She may be telling truth but but she is compelled to keep the wound reopened.Thats who Avivah Zornberg reminds me of. I will admit I grow weary of her commentary sorry Skip.

Larry Reed

You said in there that he will wipe away our tears of sorrow but not the memories. How does that fit….when God says our sins and our iniquities will he remember no more. Fortunately memories do fade and although they do still exist somewhere within our psyches they are no longer as painful and cause us continually grief, as we learn to accept God‘s forgiveness. We have learned to accept what was and move into what it is….
I know that Christ is my redeemer and that he redeems even the worst of the worst, if allowed!
In today’s devotional by Richard Rohr he touches on some of the same material or at least a flavor of it. Bringing wholeness or together those areas where we have split!
One area of continual work the Holy Spirit has been doing in my life in the past couple of years is teaching me to accept what happened and to allow his love and forgiveness to cover me without denial of past events . Without hiding. Maybe that’s the important point????

Leslee Simler

Larry, it’s 10 days later, but we’re catching up on posts we’ve missed through busy days. Yah says HE will remember no more, not that we will remember no more. The apostle Paul remembered throughout his days that he had sinned (deserving death) against the followers of the Way. I remember where I walked, in ways of death, and the memories strengthen me to walk there no more. And, as a result, Yah has given me the ability to share my corrupt past as a testimony to Yah’s forgiveness that holds none of it against me.

Theresa T

My traumatic memories caused decades of horrible nightmares. They also caused deep fractures with God, myself and others. I am the self that knows what I endured, and the self that hides those truths from others because I don’t want to be rejected. I found my two selves healing on a yoga mat as those memories that are all stored in my body resurfaced, and I faced and accepted them with the strength of Torah backing me. I still have a hard time with, “In faithfulness You have afflicted me.” I think it’s tough to be Leah or Uriah. It’s hard to believe that is a love that I would want anything to do with. I have a struggle to think of heaven as being a good place if I retain my memories. Yet, I won’t be me without them. This TW was insightful for me. I don’t think I’ll be able to be ani on this side of the grave.

Evelyn Browning

It is good to be back with TW. For some reason technology prevents connection, the last being Nov. 6th. I can read it off the web, but with visual issues, I prefer to print it. Good to be challenged. I’m not so interested in knowing myself as I am in knowing God, and he keeps peeling my layers off. Praise Him!

Laurita Hayes

Why can’t we see God? As He is the other half of ourselves, isn’t it because we are hiding from ourselves?

Seeker

Laurita your rhetorical questions got me thinking… Could it be what Skip refers to in inventing the individual… We justify ourselves (find ourselves naked) by making ourselves important because of our relationship with God instead of humbling ourselves in this relationship. Self reflection to repent and willingness to become as a child to enter Kingdom and see God… Is the only way we can experience God with us. IMO a proportionate relationship heals a proportional understanding of God…